So, Monday It Is!

So, Monday It Is!


Last week, after reading yet another article on the benefits of exercise, I was overcome with shame. I had no good reason for being so out of shape. No excuses, no one else to blame, completely “Guilty”. I am retired. I have the time. And despite a few aches and pains, I am fully functional. So I decided it was time to take action, and begin an exercise program. Seriously….
For the past 30 years my commitment to exercise has been volatile to say the least. I have gone from walking two miles a day for four years, to not budging an inch for two. I have no idea why this is.
Vanity has always been a good motivation for me. But there have been times in my life when I would have traded one of my kids to look good for a special occasion. And nothing, I did nothing. No aerobics, no jogging, no crash diet, nothing… I didn’t move!
So there is obviously more to it than just vanity.
Fear is another motivation. My cholesterol is suspiciously on the rise. Now this confounds me, as I’ve told my physician repeatedly, I do not eat fast food! He asks me about my “exercise ritual”. How often, how long, at what pace? Honestly, he assumes everyone has time to exercise. After I admit to falling a little short of his expectations (I was not about to disclose my recent sedentary state), he told me to Pump it Up!! “Yes, I will!” I promise.
He probably did not even consider the fact that my high numbers could be genetic, and not have anything at all to do with my lack of movement!
Anyhow, I made this decision on a Friday. And as everyone knows, all exercise programs, diets, or any other self-improvement regime all begin on a Monday.
Or else it is doomed. (It is a natural law or something).
So, Monday it is!
But when Monday morning came, and I started to roll out of bed wearing my usual smile, (attributed to the fact that I am retired and on no particular schedule), that “smile” turned up side down.
I remembered last week’s resolution. Rats!!!
Did I say it out loud? Did anyone hear me? Did I mention my pledge to anyone else?
Then the phrase “Be true to yourself” comes to mind. Okay, I’m walking.
Now, because summers in Southern California can be brutal, walking outdoors has to be timed perfectly. I got out there at 7:30am. I drove to a track that is 5 minutes away. You are probably wondering why I just don’t walk to the track? Having had a bad experience walking in my neighborhood last year (tripping on a concealed sprinkler head and falling on my face), I now choose to walk in designated areas.
It was an absolute amazing morning for a walk. A clear blue sky, the smell of morning dew still lingering on the grass, and just enough effort from the sun to warm my skin and fuel my incentive…..Perfect.
And, as luck would have it, I was alone. No forced smiles or mumbled greetings to fellow walkers required. Just me, the early birds, and a determined little snail I keep sidestepping with every lap. Honestly, I’ve gone three laps and he still hasn’t made it to the other side. Where could he be going anyhow? The grass isn’t any greener on the other side!!! Hmm…sounds a little familiar. Oh well, I digress. Back to walking.
The batteries in my ipod needed charging. So instead of listening to music or talk radio, I had to settle for solving the world’s problems. Health Care, Failing Banks, Unemployment…. so many issues. Where do I start?? Glancing down at my watch I see I have been pounding pavement for 45 minutes! Pretty darn good for a start! No shame in stopping now. I am officially on my way to being in shape!!

Monday: Mission Accomplished!

Tuesday: Daughter calls at 6:00 am to ask if I will pick up my grandson. Seems she
threw her back out again. (Can’t turn down a pregnant woman). And surely
skipping “one” day won’t make a difference.

Wednesday: Can hardly get out of bed. Might have something to do with playing
“horsy” with my grandson the day before. Better not chance it. Need a
day to recover.

Thursday: Examining my calendar, I notice the bug man is due here any time from
7:00 am to 11:00 am. I could just leave him a check, but who would tell him
about the new ant problem we are having? Can’t take any chances.

Friday: Husband walks out the door to go to work. 5 minutes later he returns.
It seems one of his tires is low and he needs my car for the day.
Who am I to refuse? Safety First!!!

Saturday: Well, who exercises on Saturday? And Sunday is a Day of Rest, right?


After reviewing this week’s fiasco and seeing the types of things that can sabotage my commitment to exercise, I am better prepared with some “back up plans”. And now I can once again begin walking, and finally getting back into shape….Seriously.
And as I have mentioned before, the beginning of the week is the best time to start such a program.
So, Monday it is! (Wish me luck)



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Drives Me Sane

Drives Me Sane


(10:00 am)
Go to ATM to deposit checks carried around in purse for days (and thought lost, twice).
Try to straighten crumpled checks with hands, watch checks being sucked in by giant screen with mouth. Tap, tap, tap giant screen with mouth… transaction completed. Exhale. Note to self, use hand sanitizer.
Technology….Drives me Crazy!
(10:45 am)
Go to Costco to find niche gift for someone who has everything, needs nothing, but would be visibly disappointed if handed a gift card,
Shopping for these people……Drives me Crazy!
(12:00 pm)
Tummy is growling and still need to finish errands. Should have stuck a granola bar in purse. Scrounge around, find $1.39. I could get something for a buck somewhere, but no drink, (bottle of water in car looks too murky to risk). Ignore tummy talk. Hunger…..Drives me Crazy!
(12:10 pm)
Go to department store to return “impulse purchase” most likely made when chocolate levels were dangerously low. Was unable to find corresponding receipt in Zip Lock bag with receipts dating back to 2001. Comb hair, apply lipstick, stand up straight, must not look like a scam artist when attempting to return items without receipt.
Returning purchases….Drives me Crazy!
(1:30 pm)
Leave department store, one hour later. Got sidetracked by 50% off sales and the fact that I had money burning a hole in my pocket from “scamming” the store clerk!! : )
Going to car wash. Should wash it myself but the temperature is in the triple digits and I am older now, and can’t take the heat like I once could. Try to rationalize not getting up at 8:00 am to do it. But that is time allotted for exercise, which I rarely do either, (list of excuses too long to include). Pay the cashier, find a place in the shade to sit. Finally find my spot in my “car book” I keep in back seat to pass time while waiting for “just about anything.” Book also doubles as something to hide behind when I am not in the mood for small talk by anyone who happens to be within a 3-foot perimeter.
Car honks, rags waved, and the three guys working so hard to shine my car shrink to one. This smiling face takes my ticket and gives back my keys. Okay, so who am I tipping??? Just him? What about the other two who worked just as hard as this guy???
Tipping……..Drives me crazy.
(2:15 pm)
Stop at market to pick up three things at grocery store, just enough to get through dinner tonight. Realize when I am there I used the last of the paper towels this morning, pick up paper towels, then I see there is a special on Diet Coke, never pass these up. A man in produce asks me if the little red potatoes are any good. I assure him they are and put a bag in my cart to back up my advice. Thirty minutes later, I leave the store, but not before handing over $140.00 of my husband’s hard earned cash, and giving myself a personal reprimand for not sticking to my three item list.
Shopping……..Drives me crazy.
(2:45 pm)
Finally, I end up on my daughter’s doorstep with a half a gallon of milk which she always needs and is happy to get. But the real reason is to walk through her door and be greeted by my 20-month-old grandson. When he realizes I am there, he runs to me with a waddle that reminds me of a little duck. And with open arms yells, “Naaaaaana!”
He smells of playdoh and apple juice, and still maintains the scent of baby innocence.

My Grandson….. Drives me Sane!