Drives Me Sane

Drives Me Sane


(10:00 am)
Go to ATM to deposit checks carried around in purse for days (and thought lost, twice).
Try to straighten crumpled checks with hands, watch checks being sucked in by giant screen with mouth. Tap, tap, tap giant screen with mouth… transaction completed. Exhale. Note to self, use hand sanitizer.
Technology….Drives me Crazy!
(10:45 am)
Go to Costco to find niche gift for someone who has everything, needs nothing, but would be visibly disappointed if handed a gift card,
Shopping for these people……Drives me Crazy!
(12:00 pm)
Tummy is growling and still need to finish errands. Should have stuck a granola bar in purse. Scrounge around, find $1.39. I could get something for a buck somewhere, but no drink, (bottle of water in car looks too murky to risk). Ignore tummy talk. Hunger…..Drives me Crazy!
(12:10 pm)
Go to department store to return “impulse purchase” most likely made when chocolate levels were dangerously low. Was unable to find corresponding receipt in Zip Lock bag with receipts dating back to 2001. Comb hair, apply lipstick, stand up straight, must not look like a scam artist when attempting to return items without receipt.
Returning purchases….Drives me Crazy!
(1:30 pm)
Leave department store, one hour later. Got sidetracked by 50% off sales and the fact that I had money burning a hole in my pocket from “scamming” the store clerk!! : )
Going to car wash. Should wash it myself but the temperature is in the triple digits and I am older now, and can’t take the heat like I once could. Try to rationalize not getting up at 8:00 am to do it. But that is time allotted for exercise, which I rarely do either, (list of excuses too long to include). Pay the cashier, find a place in the shade to sit. Finally find my spot in my “car book” I keep in back seat to pass time while waiting for “just about anything.” Book also doubles as something to hide behind when I am not in the mood for small talk by anyone who happens to be within a 3-foot perimeter.
Car honks, rags waved, and the three guys working so hard to shine my car shrink to one. This smiling face takes my ticket and gives back my keys. Okay, so who am I tipping??? Just him? What about the other two who worked just as hard as this guy???
Tipping……..Drives me crazy.
(2:15 pm)
Stop at market to pick up three things at grocery store, just enough to get through dinner tonight. Realize when I am there I used the last of the paper towels this morning, pick up paper towels, then I see there is a special on Diet Coke, never pass these up. A man in produce asks me if the little red potatoes are any good. I assure him they are and put a bag in my cart to back up my advice. Thirty minutes later, I leave the store, but not before handing over $140.00 of my husband’s hard earned cash, and giving myself a personal reprimand for not sticking to my three item list.
Shopping……..Drives me crazy.
(2:45 pm)
Finally, I end up on my daughter’s doorstep with a half a gallon of milk which she always needs and is happy to get. But the real reason is to walk through her door and be greeted by my 20-month-old grandson. When he realizes I am there, he runs to me with a waddle that reminds me of a little duck. And with open arms yells, “Naaaaaana!”
He smells of playdoh and apple juice, and still maintains the scent of baby innocence.

My Grandson….. Drives me Sane!