So, Monday It Is!

So, Monday It Is!


Last week, after reading yet another article on the benefits of exercise, I was overcome with shame. I had no good reason for being so out of shape. No excuses, no one else to blame, completely “Guilty”. I am retired. I have the time. And despite a few aches and pains, I am fully functional. So I decided it was time to take action, and begin an exercise program. Seriously….
For the past 30 years my commitment to exercise has been volatile to say the least. I have gone from walking two miles a day for four years, to not budging an inch for two. I have no idea why this is.
Vanity has always been a good motivation for me. But there have been times in my life when I would have traded one of my kids to look good for a special occasion. And nothing, I did nothing. No aerobics, no jogging, no crash diet, nothing… I didn’t move!
So there is obviously more to it than just vanity.
Fear is another motivation. My cholesterol is suspiciously on the rise. Now this confounds me, as I’ve told my physician repeatedly, I do not eat fast food! He asks me about my “exercise ritual”. How often, how long, at what pace? Honestly, he assumes everyone has time to exercise. After I admit to falling a little short of his expectations (I was not about to disclose my recent sedentary state), he told me to Pump it Up!! “Yes, I will!” I promise.
He probably did not even consider the fact that my high numbers could be genetic, and not have anything at all to do with my lack of movement!
Anyhow, I made this decision on a Friday. And as everyone knows, all exercise programs, diets, or any other self-improvement regime all begin on a Monday.
Or else it is doomed. (It is a natural law or something).
So, Monday it is!
But when Monday morning came, and I started to roll out of bed wearing my usual smile, (attributed to the fact that I am retired and on no particular schedule), that “smile” turned up side down.
I remembered last week’s resolution. Rats!!!
Did I say it out loud? Did anyone hear me? Did I mention my pledge to anyone else?
Then the phrase “Be true to yourself” comes to mind. Okay, I’m walking.
Now, because summers in Southern California can be brutal, walking outdoors has to be timed perfectly. I got out there at 7:30am. I drove to a track that is 5 minutes away. You are probably wondering why I just don’t walk to the track? Having had a bad experience walking in my neighborhood last year (tripping on a concealed sprinkler head and falling on my face), I now choose to walk in designated areas.
It was an absolute amazing morning for a walk. A clear blue sky, the smell of morning dew still lingering on the grass, and just enough effort from the sun to warm my skin and fuel my incentive…..Perfect.
And, as luck would have it, I was alone. No forced smiles or mumbled greetings to fellow walkers required. Just me, the early birds, and a determined little snail I keep sidestepping with every lap. Honestly, I’ve gone three laps and he still hasn’t made it to the other side. Where could he be going anyhow? The grass isn’t any greener on the other side!!! Hmm…sounds a little familiar. Oh well, I digress. Back to walking.
The batteries in my ipod needed charging. So instead of listening to music or talk radio, I had to settle for solving the world’s problems. Health Care, Failing Banks, Unemployment…. so many issues. Where do I start?? Glancing down at my watch I see I have been pounding pavement for 45 minutes! Pretty darn good for a start! No shame in stopping now. I am officially on my way to being in shape!!

Monday: Mission Accomplished!

Tuesday: Daughter calls at 6:00 am to ask if I will pick up my grandson. Seems she
threw her back out again. (Can’t turn down a pregnant woman). And surely
skipping “one” day won’t make a difference.

Wednesday: Can hardly get out of bed. Might have something to do with playing
“horsy” with my grandson the day before. Better not chance it. Need a
day to recover.

Thursday: Examining my calendar, I notice the bug man is due here any time from
7:00 am to 11:00 am. I could just leave him a check, but who would tell him
about the new ant problem we are having? Can’t take any chances.

Friday: Husband walks out the door to go to work. 5 minutes later he returns.
It seems one of his tires is low and he needs my car for the day.
Who am I to refuse? Safety First!!!

Saturday: Well, who exercises on Saturday? And Sunday is a Day of Rest, right?


After reviewing this week’s fiasco and seeing the types of things that can sabotage my commitment to exercise, I am better prepared with some “back up plans”. And now I can once again begin walking, and finally getting back into shape….Seriously.
And as I have mentioned before, the beginning of the week is the best time to start such a program.
So, Monday it is! (Wish me luck)



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Drives Me Sane

Drives Me Sane


(10:00 am)
Go to ATM to deposit checks carried around in purse for days (and thought lost, twice).
Try to straighten crumpled checks with hands, watch checks being sucked in by giant screen with mouth. Tap, tap, tap giant screen with mouth… transaction completed. Exhale. Note to self, use hand sanitizer.
Technology….Drives me Crazy!
(10:45 am)
Go to Costco to find niche gift for someone who has everything, needs nothing, but would be visibly disappointed if handed a gift card,
Shopping for these people……Drives me Crazy!
(12:00 pm)
Tummy is growling and still need to finish errands. Should have stuck a granola bar in purse. Scrounge around, find $1.39. I could get something for a buck somewhere, but no drink, (bottle of water in car looks too murky to risk). Ignore tummy talk. Hunger…..Drives me Crazy!
(12:10 pm)
Go to department store to return “impulse purchase” most likely made when chocolate levels were dangerously low. Was unable to find corresponding receipt in Zip Lock bag with receipts dating back to 2001. Comb hair, apply lipstick, stand up straight, must not look like a scam artist when attempting to return items without receipt.
Returning purchases….Drives me Crazy!
(1:30 pm)
Leave department store, one hour later. Got sidetracked by 50% off sales and the fact that I had money burning a hole in my pocket from “scamming” the store clerk!! : )
Going to car wash. Should wash it myself but the temperature is in the triple digits and I am older now, and can’t take the heat like I once could. Try to rationalize not getting up at 8:00 am to do it. But that is time allotted for exercise, which I rarely do either, (list of excuses too long to include). Pay the cashier, find a place in the shade to sit. Finally find my spot in my “car book” I keep in back seat to pass time while waiting for “just about anything.” Book also doubles as something to hide behind when I am not in the mood for small talk by anyone who happens to be within a 3-foot perimeter.
Car honks, rags waved, and the three guys working so hard to shine my car shrink to one. This smiling face takes my ticket and gives back my keys. Okay, so who am I tipping??? Just him? What about the other two who worked just as hard as this guy???
Tipping……..Drives me crazy.
(2:15 pm)
Stop at market to pick up three things at grocery store, just enough to get through dinner tonight. Realize when I am there I used the last of the paper towels this morning, pick up paper towels, then I see there is a special on Diet Coke, never pass these up. A man in produce asks me if the little red potatoes are any good. I assure him they are and put a bag in my cart to back up my advice. Thirty minutes later, I leave the store, but not before handing over $140.00 of my husband’s hard earned cash, and giving myself a personal reprimand for not sticking to my three item list.
Shopping……..Drives me crazy.
(2:45 pm)
Finally, I end up on my daughter’s doorstep with a half a gallon of milk which she always needs and is happy to get. But the real reason is to walk through her door and be greeted by my 20-month-old grandson. When he realizes I am there, he runs to me with a waddle that reminds me of a little duck. And with open arms yells, “Naaaaaana!”
He smells of playdoh and apple juice, and still maintains the scent of baby innocence.

My Grandson….. Drives me Sane!

Okay, So why do I bother?

Like most stay at home women, when it comes to housekeeping I have a daily routine. This routine includes all the chores I do during a day without much thought… making the bed, emptying the dishwasher, wiping out the bathroom sinks, throwing in a load of laundry, and the never ending task called “picking up”…
But every once in a while, the larger more time consuming chores creep to the forefront of my mind. These are the more disagreeable tasks such as windows, floors, refrigerators, and the ever-taunting, shower. These responsibilities must be housed in the part of the brain designated to fear of embarrassment. Fortunately for me, this part of the brain occupies a smaller space than for most. Back to showers….
Now, the shower I am referring to is the one that gets the most action. Not the “guest bathroom shower” or the shower my kids used to desecrate when they were living at home (but has now become a gleaming porcelain monument to the many attacks it has survived).
I’m talking about the every day, two to four uses a day shower, the one that is never used, (or even seen) by a non-family member. This shower is my humbling stall. Every time I enter it I am reminded of the fact that I am inadequate, that I fall short. I could spend my whole day working in the yard, ironing, bathing the dogs, watching my grandson, sorting and categorizing the last five years of family photos, prepare a good meal, and still step into that shower at the end of the day and be reminded that I just don’t measure up.
All right, I admit it. As much as it bothers me, it does not consume me. So the disgusting shower situation is pretty much status quo around here 75% of the time…(okay 90%).
There are many variables that have to be considered before tackling my shower. Timing is the number one issue. This is important on so many levels. First, I know it is going to take me at least an hour, an hour and a half to accomplish. This is a given. Secondly, what part of the day am I going to devote to this endeavor? More often than not, I choose morning, and preferably a day my hair needs to be washed. Anyone that has ever cleaned a dirty shower knows that to get the job done right, you must approach it “Full Monty”. Every inch of your body is going to get wet. This is a great time to give your hair a good conditioning. Conditioner takes time to do its thing. So in order to pass this time efficiently, you must always be prepared to perform other duties while the conditioning process takes place… i.e. shave legs, consolidate shampoo bottles, examine your breasts for lumps,( which in my case can be frustrating as they always feel lumpy), or, as in this instance, scrub the shower.
The second most important issue is the cleaning product. This is where truth in advertising enters the picture. I am always tempted to get the one that shows a fully dressed woman stepping into a shower, attaching a gizmo to one of the interior walls, and pressing a button. Only to return, after the suggested amount of time has elapsed, to a sparkling clean shower!!!… Yeah right, like that is going to happen.
Not being naïve… I instead, opt for a super abrasive cleanser, a powerful “everything” remover, a hand tool, and of course, a face mask. This is so you don’t pass out naked from cleaning fumes, and have to be rescued by a team of cute firemen who secretly agree you probably belong in a “home”.
The third thing to remember is to always, always have the cordless phone within reaching distance. Who knows when you might receive an important call? And invariably, after 2 or 3 annoying calls, that important one comes. It’s one of your kids. And they need to borrow money. That’s okay. They are good people, they show up on the holidays, they praise your cooking, and give you grandchildren. It’s only money.
Okay, back to the shower…
By this time things are looking pretty good. I can once again see through the shower door. No more little black flurries around the door hinges, and no more discernible footprints on the floor basin. And finally, the tacky utility rack hanging over the nozzle looks no tackier than the day I first brought it home.
Mission accomplished!
Stepping back and surveying the shower, I think to myself, I am never going to let it get that gross again! If I just wipe it down after every use, it shouldn’t ever even get that gross again!
I am once again whole….
Can’t wait to hear my husband’s reaction to the clean shower. Should I tell him about the time and energy I exhausted to achieve such a wonderful sight? or just let him be surprised?
I chose to let him be surprised and impressed…Only he wasn’t. He took his shower, went about his nightly routine and then crawled into bed. After he was settled, I said, “did you notice anything different tonight?” He said, “Why, are you wearing leather?”
I turned over on my side and said, “Never mind” and thought to myself, “Why do I bother?”

Nana, Dominic, and Ladybug Story

Nana, Dominic, and Ladybug Story





Last week my grandson, Dominic and I went for a walk. It seems that we have been doing a lot of walking these days…and it occurred to me that these walks are serving
more than one purpose. Not that I need a purpose or a reason to take these excursions with him. But the rewards are endless.
First, because he is now 18 months old, he is no longer satisfied being surrounded by all his cartoon friends (on screen or off). “Stand Up Elmo” and “Dance with me Brobee” were “all that” when he was 1 year old. But now that he is older”, he has moved on.
And I do mean on.
Nana’s kitchen cabinets are far more interesting than a Rocking horse or Crayons. There was a time when my kitchen was organized down to the smallest detail. I could find a corkscrew (which I reach for often), the appropriate sized saucepan or measuring cup within seconds. However, since A.D. (after Dominic) I find myself saying, “now where did I see him going with that?”
Being outside solves all the “no touch”, “be gentle” and “don’t even think about it” issues.
Taking a walk in Southern California can be a remarkable experience. But in the summer months it has it’s challenges. Always we bring a hat, a sippee cup, and sunscreen. Sometimes we bring sunglasses, but they usually end up on his forehead and upside down, or some other useless place, so they are not essential.
I am teaching Dominic to cross the street with caution. We hold hands, look both ways, and then hurry to the other side. He does this now without being reminded. But I worry sometimes that he does not realize he is looking for cars. He might just think his Grandma is a little strange.
We are so fortunate to have a park directly across from our front yard. It belongs to the Catholic Church, which is also across the street. It is a wonderful place to explore. We pick weeds (dandelions) no charge to the church, chase birds and are always on the lookout for stray coyotes, honest. They must be the urban kind because they don’t know they are supposed to be nocturnal. But they keep their distance, and sort of “hop walk” about their business.
I think I can categorize these walks as nature walks. We do a lot of identifying bugs, birds, plants and waste….use your imagination.
On this particular day, we encountered a Ladybug. Now, I can’t remember whether it is the female that has the spots or the male. So, I did not refer to it as any “gender”. Dominic could care less and wouldn’t comprehend the distinction anyhow. We sat Indian style on the grass and played with the Ladybug for quite awhile. I think its one wing was injured so it could not fly away (therefore making the “Ladybug, Ladybug fly away home” song inappropriate). I let this bug crawl all over my hands and arms. Dominic was in awe. Finally, I put the bug on Dominic’s arm to see his reaction.
Well, you can just imagine his facial expression. It was a combination of excitement, fear, and bravery all mix up and smeared over his face….in other words, a Kodak Moment.
Finally, because I could tell it was almost more than he could bear, I put the Ladybug back down in the grass and let him disappear.
By then, it was time to head home. It was getting pretty hot, and I could tell he was spent. Nana was tired; Dominic was tired. We crossed the street with the same caution we did when we started out.
But just as you would have it, when we were back in our own yard, Dominic spotted a Bee on a flower in our front planter. With a big smile on his face, he walks up close to it and put his finger out for the Bee to climb on!!
“No Dominic”, I cried out! “That is a bad bug!” The poor kid looked so confused. And I could not possibly expect him to understand why one bug is good and the other a “no touch!”
So much for Nature Walks…..

Maybe letting him rearrange my kitchen cabinets isn’t that bad of an idea….at the very least, I have an excuse for them being messy!!!

Nana