Okay, So why do I bother?
Like most stay at home women, when it comes to housekeeping I have a daily routine. This routine includes all the chores I do during a day without much thought… making the bed, emptying the dishwasher, wiping out the bathroom sinks, throwing in a load of laundry, and the never ending task called “picking up”…
But every once in a while, the larger more time consuming chores creep to the forefront of my mind. These are the more disagreeable tasks such as windows, floors, refrigerators, and the ever-taunting, shower. These responsibilities must be housed in the part of the brain designated to fear of embarrassment. Fortunately for me, this part of the brain occupies a smaller space than for most. Back to showers….
Now, the shower I am referring to is the one that gets the most action. Not the “guest bathroom shower” or the shower my kids used to desecrate when they were living at home (but has now become a gleaming porcelain monument to the many attacks it has survived).
I’m talking about the every day, two to four uses a day shower, the one that is never used, (or even seen) by a non-family member. This shower is my humbling stall. Every time I enter it I am reminded of the fact that I am inadequate, that I fall short. I could spend my whole day working in the yard, ironing, bathing the dogs, watching my grandson, sorting and categorizing the last five years of family photos, prepare a good meal, and still step into that shower at the end of the day and be reminded that I just don’t measure up.
All right, I admit it. As much as it bothers me, it does not consume me. So the disgusting shower situation is pretty much status quo around here 75% of the time…(okay 90%).
There are many variables that have to be considered before tackling my shower. Timing is the number one issue. This is important on so many levels. First, I know it is going to take me at least an hour, an hour and a half to accomplish. This is a given. Secondly, what part of the day am I going to devote to this endeavor? More often than not, I choose morning, and preferably a day my hair needs to be washed. Anyone that has ever cleaned a dirty shower knows that to get the job done right, you must approach it “Full Monty”. Every inch of your body is going to get wet. This is a great time to give your hair a good conditioning. Conditioner takes time to do its thing. So in order to pass this time efficiently, you must always be prepared to perform other duties while the conditioning process takes place… i.e. shave legs, consolidate shampoo bottles, examine your breasts for lumps,( which in my case can be frustrating as they always feel lumpy), or, as in this instance, scrub the shower.
The second most important issue is the cleaning product. This is where truth in advertising enters the picture. I am always tempted to get the one that shows a fully dressed woman stepping into a shower, attaching a gizmo to one of the interior walls, and pressing a button. Only to return, after the suggested amount of time has elapsed, to a sparkling clean shower!!!… Yeah right, like that is going to happen.
Not being naïve… I instead, opt for a super abrasive cleanser, a powerful “everything” remover, a hand tool, and of course, a face mask. This is so you don’t pass out naked from cleaning fumes, and have to be rescued by a team of cute firemen who secretly agree you probably belong in a “home”.
The third thing to remember is to always, always have the cordless phone within reaching distance. Who knows when you might receive an important call? And invariably, after 2 or 3 annoying calls, that important one comes. It’s one of your kids. And they need to borrow money. That’s okay. They are good people, they show up on the holidays, they praise your cooking, and give you grandchildren. It’s only money.
Okay, back to the shower…
By this time things are looking pretty good. I can once again see through the shower door. No more little black flurries around the door hinges, and no more discernible footprints on the floor basin. And finally, the tacky utility rack hanging over the nozzle looks no tackier than the day I first brought it home.
Mission accomplished!
Stepping back and surveying the shower, I think to myself, I am never going to let it get that gross again! If I just wipe it down after every use, it shouldn’t ever even get that gross again!
I am once again whole….
Can’t wait to hear my husband’s reaction to the clean shower. Should I tell him about the time and energy I exhausted to achieve such a wonderful sight? or just let him be surprised?
I chose to let him be surprised and impressed…Only he wasn’t. He took his shower, went about his nightly routine and then crawled into bed. After he was settled, I said, “did you notice anything different tonight?” He said, “Why, are you wearing leather?”
I turned over on my side and said, “Never mind” and thought to myself, “Why do I bother?”
But every once in a while, the larger more time consuming chores creep to the forefront of my mind. These are the more disagreeable tasks such as windows, floors, refrigerators, and the ever-taunting, shower. These responsibilities must be housed in the part of the brain designated to fear of embarrassment. Fortunately for me, this part of the brain occupies a smaller space than for most. Back to showers….
Now, the shower I am referring to is the one that gets the most action. Not the “guest bathroom shower” or the shower my kids used to desecrate when they were living at home (but has now become a gleaming porcelain monument to the many attacks it has survived).
I’m talking about the every day, two to four uses a day shower, the one that is never used, (or even seen) by a non-family member. This shower is my humbling stall. Every time I enter it I am reminded of the fact that I am inadequate, that I fall short. I could spend my whole day working in the yard, ironing, bathing the dogs, watching my grandson, sorting and categorizing the last five years of family photos, prepare a good meal, and still step into that shower at the end of the day and be reminded that I just don’t measure up.
All right, I admit it. As much as it bothers me, it does not consume me. So the disgusting shower situation is pretty much status quo around here 75% of the time…(okay 90%).
There are many variables that have to be considered before tackling my shower. Timing is the number one issue. This is important on so many levels. First, I know it is going to take me at least an hour, an hour and a half to accomplish. This is a given. Secondly, what part of the day am I going to devote to this endeavor? More often than not, I choose morning, and preferably a day my hair needs to be washed. Anyone that has ever cleaned a dirty shower knows that to get the job done right, you must approach it “Full Monty”. Every inch of your body is going to get wet. This is a great time to give your hair a good conditioning. Conditioner takes time to do its thing. So in order to pass this time efficiently, you must always be prepared to perform other duties while the conditioning process takes place… i.e. shave legs, consolidate shampoo bottles, examine your breasts for lumps,( which in my case can be frustrating as they always feel lumpy), or, as in this instance, scrub the shower.
The second most important issue is the cleaning product. This is where truth in advertising enters the picture. I am always tempted to get the one that shows a fully dressed woman stepping into a shower, attaching a gizmo to one of the interior walls, and pressing a button. Only to return, after the suggested amount of time has elapsed, to a sparkling clean shower!!!… Yeah right, like that is going to happen.
Not being naïve… I instead, opt for a super abrasive cleanser, a powerful “everything” remover, a hand tool, and of course, a face mask. This is so you don’t pass out naked from cleaning fumes, and have to be rescued by a team of cute firemen who secretly agree you probably belong in a “home”.
The third thing to remember is to always, always have the cordless phone within reaching distance. Who knows when you might receive an important call? And invariably, after 2 or 3 annoying calls, that important one comes. It’s one of your kids. And they need to borrow money. That’s okay. They are good people, they show up on the holidays, they praise your cooking, and give you grandchildren. It’s only money.
Okay, back to the shower…
By this time things are looking pretty good. I can once again see through the shower door. No more little black flurries around the door hinges, and no more discernible footprints on the floor basin. And finally, the tacky utility rack hanging over the nozzle looks no tackier than the day I first brought it home.
Mission accomplished!
Stepping back and surveying the shower, I think to myself, I am never going to let it get that gross again! If I just wipe it down after every use, it shouldn’t ever even get that gross again!
I am once again whole….
Can’t wait to hear my husband’s reaction to the clean shower. Should I tell him about the time and energy I exhausted to achieve such a wonderful sight? or just let him be surprised?
I chose to let him be surprised and impressed…Only he wasn’t. He took his shower, went about his nightly routine and then crawled into bed. After he was settled, I said, “did you notice anything different tonight?” He said, “Why, are you wearing leather?”
I turned over on my side and said, “Never mind” and thought to myself, “Why do I bother?”
Ha! Love the story. So true on every level. Glad you finally have a place to write.
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