I Want To Look Just Like You!.....when I'm Old

Lately, when I pick up a book or magazine, I find myself drawn to what I consider

“age appropriate” material.

And it’s not just reading material. This goes for everything….clothes, shoes, purses, even cars!

Yes, it’s true. I’m almost sixty now. But when did my brain start reflecting my body

image?..... my sagging, softening body image?

I wholeheartedly subscribe to the adage, “You’re as young as you feel”! And I don’t feel old! So why is my mind acting old? I never gave the Okay!

That’s what scares me. I didn’t see it coming!

Of course I’ve joked about it. You know, the Senior Moment and Hot Flash references.

And I have accepted the term Middle-Age without protest, but old?

Heck, I used to be a Hippie! (Well I would have been, but I was allergic).

I should have had an inkling, a hint I was turning that corner, when a young co-worker said to me, “You’re so cool”. And then without warning…..

“I want to look just like you, when I’m Old”.

What??....... I’m Old??

How did this happen? Does old age really sneak up on you? I’ve heard the expression before. Never even considered it would happen to me!

But come to think of it, I am starting to display some of the same annoying behavior my mother once did.

Cases in point…

When in a waiting room or somewhere else that requires me to sit for a long period of time, I clutch my handbag close to my body. What exactly do I think is going to happen to it? I used to chuckle when I saw “old ladies” guarding their purses like that!

And also, I’ve become more “outspoken” in public.

While shopping in department stores, I find myself handing out unsolicited advice.

The other day I noticed a young gal trying to decide between two dresses.

I immediately pipe up, “Oh take the black, it is much more versatile!”

Like she really cares what some old bag thinks!

I always hated when my mom did that…chatted with other shoppers. Who cares?

Just stick to the program. Get in, and get out. Much more efficient!!

And bargain shopping! I now waste valuable gasoline dollars hop/scotching from supermarket to supermarket to save 50 cents! When did I become Ms. Thrifty?

I didn’t even grow up in the Depression!

But one of my all time, eye rolling, and nerve grating annoyances was to listen to my mother repeat the same story over and over again! Why did she find it so hard to remember “yesterday”?

Then recently in a conversation with my daughter, I offered up a bit of gossip. Something I considered juicy and shocking. Then, as if adding salt to a wound, she immediately shoots back with, “I know Mom. You told me three times already”.

OMG! When did I turn into my mother??

My mother in law, (God rest her soul), was never a very comforting person. She used to take what I thought was way too much pleasure in repeating the phrase,

“There is nothing good about getting old, and don’t let anyone tell you there is”!

Hmmm….

Don’t know if that’s necessarily true…. In fact, if you think about it, there are some advantages!

Just off the top of my head…..

Haven’t you noticed that all seniors brazenly speak their mind (but out loud) in public places without caring who hears? Criticizing someone’s attire, or commenting on another’s “size”. Or delivering a sarcastic insult behind a veiled smile.

I know that must be a perk because all “old” people do it!

And they can say, “I told you so” at least 5 times a day and be right.

Because they most likely did say so, and were ignored. And now they get to bask in smug satisfaction.

And old people are allowed to get lost in hospitals and parking lots without having to feel foolish. And sometimes people even offer their assistance!

Old people are the recipients of surrendered seats on crowded subways. And are treated with a little more respect when returning items without a receipt. They even get assistance in the reaching, lifting , and carrying, of heavy items. And who doesn’t run ahead to open a heavy door for a little old lady?

But most importantly, are the senior discounts. Just 10% off is enough to put a “jig” in anyone’s step!

And I have never once seen any person (man or woman) with gray hair who didn’t have the correct change!

So even though the chronological aspect of aging is inevitable. On the inside, I’m most definitely still me!

The same me I was 40 years ago. The same me that rode roller coasters and snuck into drive-in movies. The same me that used fake ID’s to get into dance clubs ( and other best forgotten places).

And the same me that fell in love at first sight. That all consuming, aching love that comes with youth and innocence…..never again recaptured.

And so what if I do find myself gravitating towards three quarter length sleeves and rhinestone studded pill organizers.

I have managed to find a silver lining in every stage of my life. So I intend to sail right through this one with humor and class, (picture a cross between Maxine and Sally Fields).

There is no turning back now, literally…..

And that little co-worker of mine…..

Well, I think she will be damn lucky if she does end up looking like me, when she is old!